Inner Dialog

I’m trying to be strong, but it’s hard.
It’s hard when everything just keeps adding up.
Everything’s weighing on my shoulders.
Their words haunt me at night.
I can’t sleep.
I don’t want to eat.
I want to give up.
I can’t do this on my own.
Nothing seems to be going right.
Nothing is how it should be.
A year ago everything was perfect.
And yet.
A year ago I didn’t appreciate what I had.
A year ago I had everything.
Now I don’t.
I’m sick of the attacks.
I’m sick of the bullets tearing through my skin.
I’m sick of breaking down.
I can’t take one more knife in the back.
Sick of the tears.
Sick of the anger.
I just want it all to be over.
However.
How am I suppose to move on.
When I cared about keeps getting ripped out from under me.
How am I suppose to change.
When there is nothing else left to change.
How am I suppose to do this.
How.
Why.
Why should I do this.
I don’t even know what happened.
I need to do something.
But my heart hurts.
Just breathe.
Okay.
I made a mistake.
I knocked down all my walls.
How can I be strong when they’ve dug up my foundations.
How can I trust that things won’t be the same next time.
How can I forgive.
Show me.
Help me.
Love me.
I’m crying out.
Please.
Help me cause I don’t know what to do.

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