You know most of what has happened in my life in the past months if you’ve read my other blog post “the last eight months”
..but I thought it would be good for me to go into a bit more detail..
Jan-May was pretty average life, work wasn’t great, and I was struggling mentally more then anything.
June felt good, we’d gotten away from the workplace and everything from there seemed to die with it. We moved into a temporary unit and I couch surfed when I came back to town every weekend.
July I attended Hillsong Conference in Sydney Australia, where my mum decided she was going to bible college. My stress seemed to build more and more, every night I felt like I was under attack.
August we had to move from the unit we’d been staying in and my nan and pop said I could stay with them until the end of the year.
September was pretty calm, just putting resumes in EVERYWHERE.
October was stressful again, I had a fight with a close relative because we had both booked the same night for our partys both just as important as the other.. it was started just by miscommunication, but she still hasn’t completely forgiven me, unfortunately.
November was stressful as hell. I had a holiday planned (which was awesome) but knowing how close we were to the end of the year and when we got home I had no money in the bank.
December was the cherry on top of what already was classified as a “crappy” year. Stress of finding a place for the new year and finding a job to pay for everything was weighing on my shoulders. Finding a housemate then having her pull out on me. Finding out my dog had been put down while I was holiday for stupid unbelievable reasons. I was pushed from a volunteer position I had had for just over a year, which was almost the last push I needed to fall over the mental cliff. All of these things happening in the same week. My band broke up. But in the midst of all this mess 2 of my friends from band had a gorgeous baby girl, which was definitely the highlight of the year.
By the end of the year I felt rejected, unwanted, stupid, pathetic and wondering why I was even trying still if everything was just gunna be pulled out from beneath my feet. Lets hope for a better 2016 🙂
(I’ve been having 1/2 awake 1/2 asleep dream/attacks? I don’t know what they really are but they started in December 2014 and spilled into 2015 and 2016 I’ll go into more detail in an upcoming blog “Episodes”)