Träume Vader, Nein ende.

When I was born my dad already had a new girlfriend, for some reason he stayed around for a couple of years. I don’t remember anything except the last day I saw him.

I’ve had nightmares about it occasionally and it was only last year I found out my nightmares were memories.

“I’m in a room at the end of a hallway, and start to hear screaming from the room on the opposite side of the hallway”

For many years that was all I did, sit in that room, listening to the screams. My mind would make up possibilities of what could be happening and it wasn’t long until..

“tall dark shadows with pointed heads would come and circle my room, sometimes I could feel them breathing down my neck, but all I’d do was sit, let them walk around and do nothing about it”

..cause I thought I could do nothing about it.

Until I was around 10 and my mum told me I could control my dreams. After all they’re usually just random stories your mind makes up, like if a lion was chasing you down the street just imagine you have wings and fly away.


My mum became a Christian when I was 4, so by this time we had been to church quite a few times. After a nightmare one night and ending up in my mums room she told me that if im in the middle of something scary in a dream to call out the name of God and they would disappear.

So again the dream came,

“the screaming started, and the figures came to the door,I yelled out ‘God is here, you are not welcome!’ straight away the figures disappeared.”

These dreams would only come two maybe even up to ten times a year.

“But every time I had that dream I would say that line ‘God is here, you are not welcome’ and take one step closer to the door on the other side of the hallway. Until finally I got to the other side.. but I couldn’t open it so I just sat with my back to the door, then one year a dark figure opened the door and walked away, Eventually I worked up the courage to look up at the dark figure, however the figure didn’t have a recognizable face, it was just dark”

I’d seen pictures of my dad so I knew what his face looked like but it never appeared on this dark figures body. Unless there’s some other random psychological reason for the face not being on the body I just narrowed it down to that..

In real life, I never left my room, so I never got to the door to look up at the figure and see his face

As pathetic as this story sounds, this is the only memory I have of my father. A dark figure passing me in the hallway, no taking any notice of me, just walking past quickly, gone in 5 seconds.

For the love of a daughter – Demi Lovato

(by the way Im not German, my friend is trying to teach me German and I thought the title sounded better in German, hopefully I have the right spelling on everything otherwise my friend will kill me haha)




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